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Defensiveness comes from “fear” and the kingdom of thinking of self. Now thinking of self is not always bad, don’t get me wrong.

There are several parts to self. In Webster’s 1828 dictionary it defines self as a pronoun, meaning to separate; as a noun and adjective when making personal identification and love of self interest. See the progression that “self” can go through?

There is a spirit in many people who are very full of self. Pride is the first one we think about. The created being named Lucifer is a fallen angel. Yes, he was created by God, as are all beings. He became puffed up with self interest and self love, called pride. He wanted to become equal with God, so became rebellious and caused much trouble. Lucifer, is also known as the devil or satan. Since he would not take responsibility and repent, God cast him out of the heavens.

My point is that we humans can become full of self-pride and absorption. Self-pride can take us over and cause us to be rebellious to our authority. Whom are we serving? Self or God?

The part of self I more recently learned about is

Self-pity

Self-bitterness

Self-guilt

Self-consciousness

Self-hate

Self-mutilation

Self-sabotage

Self-abuse

Self-denial

Self-absorption

Self-accusing

The list goes on but you have the general idea of the kingdom of self.

For myself, there I go using the word self, I had not thought that self-consciousness was thinking overly much about ones self. Yet I have come to realize that when we are focused on our own selves above all else, we are putting our personal self above God. That is considered idolatry. There is a factor of fear in self-consciousness. Fear and faith are battling for equality in our lives. As we move off self-consciousness we are actually moving towards a faith in believing God is more important in our lives than “Self”.