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Grieving the loss of a spouse is hard work emotionally. Have you ever realized how difficult it is physically as well?  Loss of a spouse is a life changing event. I can attest to that as my first husband was killed in an accident.  Sudden death is pretty overwhelming.

When a significant other dies so suddenly there is no time to say good bye. There is no time to make sure all the legal things one needs to do are in place. It is a messy circumstance to deal with. There is part of the problem, having to deal with the necessities of death, when your mind is numb.

Truly, it is hard to……..

 

focus let alone think rationally for sometime. 

There are definitely stages to working through the grief process:

Some feel these are the stages. I am not completely convinced that everyone goes through these five stages.

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

Depending on a person’s experiences with loss and death, one moves through each stage at a different rate of time as well as intensity. By this I mean that one person can be much more angry than another person or stay in denial for a much longer time frame.

When my mother was killed in a car accident several years prior to my husbands death, I definitely spent more time in denial and I was somewhat angry.  The anger didn’t last long, however, questions like  "why" were strong within my thoughts and conversations.

When one finally comes to acceptance of the situation, then one can begin to heal.

As a christian I really don’t like it when people say, "time heals all wounds".   NO!   Not just time but the "LOVE of Christ along with time heals all wounds."

Psalm 23 s a favorite scripture, and one I repeated over and over again while I was in the "valley of the shadow of death".

A psalm of David.

 1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,

       he leads me beside quiet waters,

 3 he restores my soul.

       He guides me in paths of righteousness

       for his name’s sake.

 4 Even though I walk

       through the valley of the shadow of death,

       I will fear no evil,

       for you are with me;

       your rod and your staff,

       they comfort me.

 5 You prepare a table before me

       in the presence of my enemies.

       You anoint my head with oil;

       my cup overflows.

 6 Surely goodness and mercy will follow me

       all the days of my life,

       and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

       forever.