Welcome to my site! Enjoy looking around and reading. Leave me a message as I would love to hear from you.

Fear of Poverty comes on people and is like a curse.  Fear has a huge grip in people’s life. Poverty, lack of money to live is gaining ground in our culture of me, me, me.    We are so used to purchasing what we desire, not simply what we need that we are driven. Driven to perform to buy those things we don’t need.

I am not saying having money is not a good thing. Believe me it is. I was over taken with Fear of Poverty several years ago when my life circumstances changed. I had been a stay at home mom for many years. Suddenly I was needing to find a way to become self sufficent.  I went into panic and anxiety attacks over lack of trust in my provider.

My provider is God. I completely shut him out of the picture, not trusting that HE is the creator of everything including our bank accounts. No one can out give God.  Many don’t give back to the giver by tithing or offerings.  This is stealing from our ultimate provider in the first place.  Ugly greed gets in the way of seeing the real picture.

Every time I test Continue reading »

Some common  responses to grief  are as follows.

• Reduced Concentration- there is a preoccupation with the loss of the loved one. Inability to focus and think is very debilitating. It can be hard to even find a reason to get up in the mornings. Don’t ask anyone to balance a checkbook, it just won’t happen. Just making simple every day decisions that were once unthought  of habits become huge tasks.

•  
•   Numbness- Shock is what this really is. There is a sense of unbelief that the body has a difficult time coping with. This is emotional as well as physical. This is not necessarily denial.  

• Disrupted Sleep Patterns- Most definitely one sleep is erratic. In fact, even though one is absolutely wrought out and bone tired sleep is usually a rare commodity.  The mind is working hard to accept the facts of death of someone so close.  On the other hand it appears some people will sleep for far too long of periods. This could be a coping mechanism when one can’t face the truth of the reality of death, or it could be that the person sleeps because the body needs to heal from the extreme emotional trauma.

• Eating habits change. Generally, food as no taste. Eating usually stops as there is absolutely no desire to eat as our bodies are working overtime to process the changes.

• Roller Coaster of feelings- Crying is a healing emotion, yet there comes a point that the tears dry up for a time. Extreme physical symptoms come and go. Heart palpitations are common as well as shortness of breath. Laughing can seem like betrayal at first. We are still alive and laughing is a good step towards healing.

  In my personal experience there were many facets involved in the grieving process. I experienced most of the responses above along with others. Just know that even when you feel like you are going crazy you are not.  There are times that life seems surreal and you will doubt your own abilities to make decisions and move on to overcome the devastation of our loss. I do not take death lightly, but as a christian I have complete and unshakable faith that when one is a follower of Christ that we will meet again in heaven. Oh what a joyous reunion that will be. My hope is in knowing this, which helped me walk through that valley of the shadow of death. 

Grieving the loss of a spouse is hard work emotionally. Have you ever realized how difficult it is physically as well?  Loss of a spouse is a life changing event. I can attest to that as my first husband was killed in an accident.  Sudden death is pretty overwhelming.

When a significant other dies so suddenly there is no time to say good bye. There is no time to make sure all the legal things one needs to do are in place. It is a messy circumstance to deal with. There is part of the problem, having to deal with the necessities of death, when your mind is numb.

Truly, it is hard to……..

focus let alone think rationally for sometime. 

There are definitely stages to working through the grief process:

Some feel these are the stages. I am not completely convinced that everyone goes through these five stages.

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

Depending on a person’s experiences with loss and death, one moves through each stage at a different rate of time as well as intensity. By this I mean that one person can be much more angry than another person or stay in denial for a much longer time frame.

When my mother was killed in a car accident several years prior to my husbands death, I definitely spent more time in denial and I was somewhat angry.  The anger didn’t last long, however, questions like  "why" were strong within my thoughts and conversations.

When one finally comes to acceptance of the situation, then one can begin to heal.

As a christian I really don’t like it when people say, "time heals all wounds".   NO!   Not just time but the "LOVE of Christ along with time heals all wounds."

Psalm 23 s a favorite scripture, and one I repeated over and over again while I was in the "valley of the shadow of death".

A psalm of David.

 1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,

       he leads me beside quiet waters,

 3 he restores my soul.

       He guides me in paths of righteousness

       for his name’s sake.

 4 Even though I walk

       through the valley of the shadow of death,

       I will fear no evil,

       for you are with me;

       your rod and your staff,

       they comfort me.

 5 You prepare a table before me

       in the presence of my enemies.

       You anoint my head with oil;

       my cup overflows.

 6 Surely goodness and mercy will follow me

       all the days of my life,

       and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

       forever.

Are you feeling like you are the crazy one in the relationship?

 Are you on a roller coaster ride where life goes from smooth to crazy in regular cycles?

 Emotional abuse is harder to come to terms with and recognize, as it cannot be seen with the naked eye. Most people loose there tempers or have mood swings in life so we have a tendency to placate the situation and either deny there is a problem or truly don’t recognize the signs and symptoms of real emotional abuse.

 Perhaps you are in denial or just beginning to understand how bad the situation is. Some cases this goes on for years. One can be so rejected, with feelings of total unworthiness that it goes on for years.  Has a loved one recently loving confronted you with the truth of your situation? Yes, it is difficult to pull yourself out of the pit and be set free. Walk out is hard work but it is possible. 

As we journey together, I will be helping you recognize signs of abuse. Perhaps you are struggling with whether or not you or some one you love is being emotionally abused. 

There are people out in the world who have personality disorders. There are 11 categories of personality disorders. Everyone knows the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Statistics show that 2 of 10 people have personality disorders. The snowball effect comes into play here. Look at how many other lives that one person with the personality disorder affects.

There is a hope and a future for you to be set free from this roller coaster life. You are a child of God who does not have to be emotionally abused.

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.  ’Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

Do you ever have days where your best laid plans are hijacked? Well mine were today.  I had all these plans to work on my business and taxes until the phone started ringing which hijacked my plans.

How can I turn down lunch with a relative who has come to town from over 100 miles away? Or not answer the phone for a friend in need and yet again help out a young girl with her school project.  Relationships are important in the world. Man was created to be in relationship first and foremost.

Jesus Christ was "all" about relationship and building those ties. We are to emulate God the Father and Jesus concerning life.  Yet we need to have boundaries. Jesus had boundaries which are pretty well laid out. He also had "righteous anger".  There is a time and place for everything. 

I guess I will work on my business later this afternoon and into the evening.  Change my plans.  It is interesting how people think I am a stay at home mom that has nothing to do, but work very part time. I have my online internet marketing business and am taking classes. Many people think we sit around watching tv all day. Far from the truth if time was spent with us.

I have laid out a schedule for myself with some margin built in.  Even with an online business one needs to treat it as a business and set hours. If  one doesn’t do that we can easily be hijacked by other peoples agenda. Learning to say "no" was a very freeing thing to do.  Say "no" instead of saying you will do something and feel resentful.  God doesn’t  honor a heart  that is bitter and resentful.  I don’t think he really blesses such attitudes, so I have learned to say "no" if I am sure it is not a God ordained situation.

Don’t let yourself get hijacked by man’s plans or if your own plans. Ask if what your are doing is in God’s will and do you have a peace about the answer.  Having boundaries, however not mile high fences, is a healthy balance in life.

Loss of a child is very traumatic. I will not pretend to know what it is like to loose a child, as I never have. However I am very familiar with grief. I have lost a mother to a horrible car accident and a husband to an accident as well. 

Neither are pleasant.  Grief is a lot of work emotionally, spiritually and even physically.  Never in my life have I felt such incredible pain.

This week a young woman, who grew up in our community, was killed in a car accident in a snowstorm.  She was in her early 30′s and was with her fiance. He is in critical condition.  My heart breaks for him as the future is  bleak. His life is forever changed. Not only does he need to fight to survive but has to deal with his very beloved future wife’s death.  I pray for him and his complete recovery.

Her family lives in this community. They are great people, who I will pray for as well.

How quickly life can change. In the blink of an eye, so totally unexpected. I have learned to be ready to die. Die and being with the Lord is not to be feared. 

For me it is the process of dying that can be the fearful thing.  Yet in the last few years, since I have worked with the tools in God’s word the fear of the process isn’t great. There is no reason to fear the process as we don’t have to die of disease, instead old age.

Going back to Continue reading »

Loosing Weight needs to be a mindset.  As we age the weight seems to come on unless we do a couple of things

•    Eat less calories
•    Exercise more
•    Love ourselves

Yes, you read that last one correctly.   We need to love ourselves, but not in an arrogant way. We need to see ourselves as being created in the image of God and as his child.  Many of you don’t really love yourselves enough in the correct way.  This is not self righteous or self in anyway.

The truth is Continue reading »

Did you know that statistics claim there are over 4,000 types of fear? 

Fear can be very controlling wreaking havoc on our mind, body and spirit.

We were designed with the “fight or flight” ability. When we are subjected to a fearful situation or even thought, our body automatically goes into an alarm stage. If the stressor is not resolved our body than moves into a resistance stage.  In this stage, long term affects of fear manifest into physical symptoms.

The hypothalamus, which maintains function of the body’s status quo, will be influenced by the stress and anxiety, taking place in the mind concerning any fear. Eventually, the body will be unable to repair itself, going into an exhaustion mode.  God has designed our bodies to repair and restore itself.  Yet, when we are not taking every thought captive putting us into a constant state of fight or flight our bodies cannot repair.

If you are having anxiety attacks, whom are you listening to? Are you able to take your thoughts captive and control them or are you in fear? “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7  Does your mind wander and run off of its own accord? As stated by God in the Bible, He did not give us a spirit of fear; but of power, and love and a sound mind.” 2^nd Timothy 1:7    Clearly, if we have control of our thoughts than we have the power to crush down the spirit of fear and it’s consequences.

The Bible tells us approximately 365 times to “fear not”.  Pretty amazing that God addresses this subject so much. He also tells us that faith and fear are equal. What do fear and faith have in common? Both project into the future and demand to be fulfilled. Fear is filled with negativity and represents your enemy, the devil. Faith is fulfilled by the positive peace of God.

The holistic approach supposedly treats the “whole” patient, but how well do they understand man’s spirit and soul from God’s point of view? Your enemy, the devil, however, understands our unique creation quite well. He has made a study of God’s creation for a long time.  He knows about our mind/body/soul connection. The devil knows that we are only sustained in health and sanity to the degree that we reflect the nature of the living God. Your enemy knows that by controlling our thoughts, he can control your biology, as well.

 Fear focuses on the world and is an accuser, reminding you of past failures and that God is unworthy. It separates us from God and torments us, drives us, and is contagious.  Think about how true this is? When you embrace fear, it is generally a driving force pushing us into negative thought territory, causing our body to go into flight or fight.

 Faith focuses on whom we will believe, which is God. Faith is acting on hope and trust that God will take care of our future.  “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of which is not yet seen.” Hebrews 11:1 When we have faith we believe before we see it in the physical, consequently it leads us not drives us. God honors those who believe and trust in Him. It is your choice to choose faith or fear.  Practice taking every thought captive and walking out in faith that God is in control of your future.